"Мне всё кажется, что на мне штаны скверные, и что я пишу не так, как надо, и что даю больным не те порошки. Это психоз, должно быть." А. П. Чехов
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Before I wanted to die,
I did it
just to figure out that it's not what I need,
well, resurrection was easy.
Then I wanted to live,
I tried it
just to figure out that it is deadlier
than dying,
so now there is neither rebirth, nor demise
but a desert
that I'm sentenced to,
for 40 years
to wander the wilderness.
Before I wanted to die,
I did it
just to figure out that it's not what I need,
well, resurrection was easy.
Then I wanted to live,
I tried it
just to figure out that it is deadlier
than dying,
so now there is neither rebirth, nor demise
but a desert
that I'm sentenced to,
for 40 years
to wander the wilderness.